Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
(London)
At last we have news from Homer, our beloved pet husky!
Here he is, looking mighty fine, in the yard of Brian Wilmshurst’s B-Line racing Kennels, just outside Dawson City. He’s howling because he misses us so much, poor dear.
Actually, no. Quote, Brian “Homer is great! He fits in well with the rest of the crew. His neighbor, George and him are buds and wrestle frequently. He says he hates you and never wants to see you English pricks again.”
Well, not the last bit, but I feel like a parent who collects their child at the school gates for the first time and is delighted to hear they didn’t cry and made new friends but quietly devastated they didn’t miss their doting parent. Or even notice their absence.
In a few weeks, we’ll be hauling 12 x 16kg sacks of dog food in and out of shopping carts, trucks and boats to keep our precious husky fed over the winter. That’s almost a quarter tonne of the stuff. Seems like we’ll have to hog tie him to get him away from his new pals. But we will MAKE him love us more than Brian and we’ll keep him tied until he does, the uncaring opportunist bastard.
I’ve been lucky enough to get plenty of work this summer to pay for Homer’s quarter tonne of kibble. Work, for me, involves applying my acting skills to various business situations to train, test or recruit people. There was a children’s TV show on British television in the 1970’s called Mr Benn.
In each episode, Mr Benn would go to a costume shop, put on a different costume and become that person for the day. This is exactly what I do, though my range of characters is less exotic.
Highlights this summer include Project Manager for a global pharma-chemical company and a Police Inspector for a fictional London Borough. I was also Head of Finance for a large American IT company with a specialist knowledge of mathematics and Artificial Intelligence. I know very little about most of the nouns in that sentence so I spent a lot of time nodding sagely and saying, “yup, I think we’ll discuss that in a further meeting” with an accent out of A Streetcar Named Desire.
I’m yet to play a tinker but I’ve played the Managing Director of a fictional clothing business, so almost a tailor, and a soldier (a Major in the British Army). This week, I tip-toed into the thrilling world of espionage and counter terrorism whilst looking for the toilets in the Met Police offices.
The ladies toilet on our level was shut for cleaning so I went to search for some upstairs. I found some heavy doors with very, very big locks. I’d blundered up to the Counter Terrorism Unit. Much as I wanted a peek on the pretence of needing a wee, I thought it better to creep back downstairs.
My only disappointment with role playing is, unlike Mr Benn, I don’t get proper costumes, not even a hat, so thank God I’m learning to weld.
My welding outfit is very striking. I’m taking a course at the Blackhorse workshop in Blackhorse Lane, North London with 8 other students.
Once kitted up in leather aprons, gloves and helmets we look like platoon of space monsters from Doctor Who.
We often need to weld stuff in the bush. My pal has an arc welder and is happy to let me use it. I had a go when we were making a tow bar for our sled. How hard could it be?
Imagine trying to write your name on a fairy cake with piped icing except instead of icing you have white-hot molten flux and metal that sticks to or burns through everything it touches and you’re wearing a dustbin on your head and a pair of leather boots on your hands. That’s how hard it is.
I managed to create a volcanic mess all over his welding table and was happy to let him finish the job.
We can’t keep asking people to do stuff for us, so I decided to have another crack at it, this time starting with MIG welding which is a bit easier. (See footnote)
I have also discovered photo-sensitive welding masks which turn dark as soon as you begin. This means you can see whether you have the torch in the place you want to weld, before everything goes dark. With a traditional mask, you get everything in place then somehow have to get the mask down without moving your hands.
I tried arc welding this week. Most of my attempts weren’t worth a photo and I expect our lovely teacher Stuart is still trying to hammer them off the table, but I did improve.
With a month to go before I leave, I'm starting to think about stuff we need for a winter in the bush, beyond 12 sacks of kibble.
Neil is still busy working full time with the Nuclear Decommissioning Agency in the North of England and will join me in the Yukon in September. Ensuring nuclear waste isn’t left willy-nilly all over the country is a very important job so he has to stay up there, but it leaves everybloodything else to me.
Postage is expensive to our PO Box in Dawson City and time is short for shopping in Whitehorse so I pick up what I can here and take it over in my suitcase. I’m ordering a random assortment of things on the internet.
So far, 4 new headlamps of varying styles and lumens (headlamps are like handbags- you need one for every occasion and then some spare), a fuel filter for the boat, merino wool socks, spark plugs, allergy pills and a needle threader, in lieu of not admitting I might need glasses.
Needles are getting very small these days so it’s no wonder I’ve taken nearly 4 months to make these damn beaver fur mitts.
But here they are at last!
Finished. The right one is a slightly different shape to the left as I wanted to improve on the design. I’d like to say I did but I think the left one is a better fit. So much for my improvements.
I'm going to make a pair for Neil but I'm all out of beaver. His will have to be bigger so I might need a bigger animal. I'm thinking ungrateful white Alaskan husky might be a good look.
Footnote-
MIG welding uses a thin wire which comes out of a trigger operated torch, surrounded by a blast of argon gas. ARC welding uses an electrode covered in flux. You don't need gas but hold it in a grip and have to dab it onto the metal to create a circuit. You can do bigger welds with ARC as you can use thicker electrodes, but it's much harder as you have to perfect this dabbing motion. MIG needs a lot more power so it's less practical for working in the bush. I think I got that right, but don't quote me.
Have a go yourself at Blackhorse Workshop
At last we have news from Homer, our beloved pet husky!
Here he is, looking mighty fine, in the yard of Brian Wilmshurst’s B-Line racing Kennels, just outside Dawson City. He’s howling because he misses us so much, poor dear.
Actually, no. Quote, Brian “Homer is great! He fits in well with the rest of the crew. His neighbor, George and him are buds and wrestle frequently. He says he hates you and never wants to see you English pricks again.”
 |
| Shopping at Walmart, Whitehorse, with rental car |
In a few weeks, we’ll be hauling 12 x 16kg sacks of dog food in and out of shopping carts, trucks and boats to keep our precious husky fed over the winter. That’s almost a quarter tonne of the stuff. Seems like we’ll have to hog tie him to get him away from his new pals. But we will MAKE him love us more than Brian and we’ll keep him tied until he does, the uncaring opportunist bastard.
I’ve been lucky enough to get plenty of work this summer to pay for Homer’s quarter tonne of kibble. Work, for me, involves applying my acting skills to various business situations to train, test or recruit people. There was a children’s TV show on British television in the 1970’s called Mr Benn.
 |
| Mr Benn |
Highlights this summer include Project Manager for a global pharma-chemical company and a Police Inspector for a fictional London Borough. I was also Head of Finance for a large American IT company with a specialist knowledge of mathematics and Artificial Intelligence. I know very little about most of the nouns in that sentence so I spent a lot of time nodding sagely and saying, “yup, I think we’ll discuss that in a further meeting” with an accent out of A Streetcar Named Desire.
I’m yet to play a tinker but I’ve played the Managing Director of a fictional clothing business, so almost a tailor, and a soldier (a Major in the British Army). This week, I tip-toed into the thrilling world of espionage and counter terrorism whilst looking for the toilets in the Met Police offices.
The ladies toilet on our level was shut for cleaning so I went to search for some upstairs. I found some heavy doors with very, very big locks. I’d blundered up to the Counter Terrorism Unit. Much as I wanted a peek on the pretence of needing a wee, I thought it better to creep back downstairs.
My only disappointment with role playing is, unlike Mr Benn, I don’t get proper costumes, not even a hat, so thank God I’m learning to weld.
 |
| Welding student, Zara, has added a dash of polka dot to her outfit |
Once kitted up in leather aprons, gloves and helmets we look like platoon of space monsters from Doctor Who.
We often need to weld stuff in the bush. My pal has an arc welder and is happy to let me use it. I had a go when we were making a tow bar for our sled. How hard could it be?
 |
| My first attempts at MIG welding |
Imagine trying to write your name on a fairy cake with piped icing except instead of icing you have white-hot molten flux and metal that sticks to or burns through everything it touches and you’re wearing a dustbin on your head and a pair of leather boots on your hands. That’s how hard it is.
I managed to create a volcanic mess all over his welding table and was happy to let him finish the job.
I have also discovered photo-sensitive welding masks which turn dark as soon as you begin. This means you can see whether you have the torch in the place you want to weld, before everything goes dark. With a traditional mask, you get everything in place then somehow have to get the mask down without moving your hands.
 |
| What happens if you linger? A big hole, that's what |
I tried arc welding this week. Most of my attempts weren’t worth a photo and I expect our lovely teacher Stuart is still trying to hammer them off the table, but I did improve.
 |
| Arc welding |
With a month to go before I leave, I'm starting to think about stuff we need for a winter in the bush, beyond 12 sacks of kibble.
Postage is expensive to our PO Box in Dawson City and time is short for shopping in Whitehorse so I pick up what I can here and take it over in my suitcase. I’m ordering a random assortment of things on the internet.
So far, 4 new headlamps of varying styles and lumens (headlamps are like handbags- you need one for every occasion and then some spare), a fuel filter for the boat, merino wool socks, spark plugs, allergy pills and a needle threader, in lieu of not admitting I might need glasses.
Needles are getting very small these days so it’s no wonder I’ve taken nearly 4 months to make these damn beaver fur mitts.
But here they are at last!
Finished. The right one is a slightly different shape to the left as I wanted to improve on the design. I’d like to say I did but I think the left one is a better fit. So much for my improvements.
I'm going to make a pair for Neil but I'm all out of beaver. His will have to be bigger so I might need a bigger animal. I'm thinking ungrateful white Alaskan husky might be a good look.
Footnote-
MIG welding uses a thin wire which comes out of a trigger operated torch, surrounded by a blast of argon gas. ARC welding uses an electrode covered in flux. You don't need gas but hold it in a grip and have to dab it onto the metal to create a circuit. You can do bigger welds with ARC as you can use thicker electrodes, but it's much harder as you have to perfect this dabbing motion. MIG needs a lot more power so it's less practical for working in the bush. I think I got that right, but don't quote me.
Have a go yourself at Blackhorse Workshop
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