Showing posts from November, 2019

Alone in the wilderness

Sounds like a gripping adventure movie! Neil went out to work for 10 days and left me at home with the dog.

I did what most people do when their spouse is away. Farted loudly, slept in a star shape and left things lying around in the way.

My only crisis was, I couldn’t open a jar of artichoke hearts. Frustrating, but not a plot for a Hollywood film.

I did have one big scare. I promised Neil not to go beyond the outhouse without bear spray and I only forgot once.
I was collecting some wood in the forest behind the house. I thought about going back for it, but hey, the ground is covered in a duvet of snow. Bears should be asleep by now as they hibernate when they can no longer find food. Plus, I was only 300 yards from the house.

Homer never barks unless there is a large invader. A bear, moose or human. He’s scared to bark at wolves and makes a nervous “uff” sound, as if about to turn tail and scarper.
Suddenly, out of sight and crucially, between me and the house, Homer barked, once “Woof!…