Posts

Showing posts from August, 2017

Retail Therapy in Whitehorse

Image
“If you can’t be assed to answer my questions then why don’t you go and get someone who will. Or perhaps just piss off and retire, you miserable old twat.”
Home Hardware, Whitehorse. Friday morning. A low point. 
Carpentry and construction is still a new language for me and I need a bit of help sometimes. Anyone who’s been to Paris will have experienced the crushing shame of attempting a few words in French only to receive a surly shrug. I was getting the Lumber Counter equivalent of a Gallic shrug.


This is my sixth year doing “The Big Fall Shop”. I aim for 9 months-worth of food in case something goes wrong and we can’t get out. My shopping list runs to 7 pages and the truck is filling up with peanut butter, flour, rolled oats, canola oil, dog kibble etc. Nothing fancy, but it will keep us and the dog alive through a worst case scenario.

I also have 3 building projects to shop for. You know how it is when you start on a DIY job then realise you didn’t get enough 2” screws?
So imagin…

Back to the Future

Image
(London) It might be easier to plan an invasion of a small Central American country than get ourselves, the dog and everything we need onto our property before freeze up. 
I’m good at planning. I’m a future focussed person. The past is dead to me (sorry, old friends), I don’t have time to notice the present and I’m usually racing through the future at full tilt like a teenage lout on a stolen moped.

That means I’m good at planning but less good at relaxing. Neil arrived home from working in Cumbria last Friday to find me hysterical. “I can’t find the list of parts we need for the snow machine! They won’t deliver hide-tanning crystals to Dawson! We must order a box of handwarmers!”
It was a balmy summer's evening in South London. He slowly lowered his suitcase and looked around our little council flat, as if to check there was no dead moose that needed imminent skinning and tanning. 
Really the most pressing issue was, what are we having for tea and shall we go to the pub? But, bl…